One Hundred Christmas Proposals Read online

  Harry was so excited about this Christmas, our first together. Christmases in his past hadn’t really been that fun. In the short few years he had spent with his mum after his dad had left, there had been no Christmas at all. His mum had drifted along in a drunken stupor for much of those four years and she had barely bothered to care for him and his sister, let alone buy presents or decorate the house. Even before his dad left, he had no recollection of a tree with presents stacked neatly underneath, or stockings filled with oddly shaped lumps and bumps. His years in and out of foster care hadn’t been that much better. They had at least celebrated Christmas, in a sort of fashion, but with several unwanted angry children in whichever house was unlucky enough to have them over Christmas it never made for a pleasant environment. After that, Harry had spent several years celebrating Christmas in the most unconventional ways possible – gambling in casinos in Vegas, at a barbeque on Bondi Beach, hiking up Snowdon, anything to avoid the happy, rose-tinted, sparkly traditional Christmases that happened inside the homes of thousands of British families.

  We had at least spent the last few years together, but we had normally gone out to a pub for lunch and then met up with friends later in the evening.

  This year Harry was determined to do it right and every surface, every wall, every picture had been draped with Christmas decorations. Garlands of holly, ivy and other leaves and berries curled around doorways, the fireplace and up the stairs. It looked like Santa’s grotto, albeit a Santa that had collected decorations from all over the world for the last hundred years and emptied his entire collection inside our house.

  But the thing that made me smile the most was the two stockings hanging from the fireplace, side by side.

  ‘It’s too much isn’t it,’ Harry said, wrapping his arms round my waist as he snuggled into my neck.

  ‘No, it’s gaudy and it clashes and I love it, but you do realise that the fake snow you’ve sprayed on the windows will never come off.’

  I felt him smile against my neck. ‘I don’t care. I may even leave the Christmas decorations up all year round, I love it all so much. Would you be ok with that?’

  ‘If it makes you happy then yes.’

  He slid his hand down my arms and took my hand, pulling me towards the door. ‘Come on, we’re going to be late.’

  *

  Proposer’s Blog

  Christmas Proposal 74: December 21st. Finn and Molly’s Proposal. Location: Leicester Square

  Finn and Molly have been together for four years, eight months and three weeks, or so Finn tells me. It would have been five years but Molly stubbornly refused his advances for the first four months. Molly wanted to concentrate on her studies, Finn wanted to concentrate on her.

  They first met when they signed up to do some charity carol singing for their university, with the money raised going to the local kids’ hospice. Molly sung loud and proud and every note wildly out of tune. Finn fell in love with her there and then.

  Five years later he wanted to celebrate their love by proposing to her in the exact spot where his heart had been irrevocably changed forever.

  Finn stood with his arm round Molly’s shoulders as they watched a small group of carol singers singing Away in a Manger but as they finished the second verse, the music changed, the carol singers ripped off their Santa hats and our little proposal began. The carol singers donned ’80s mullets and soon were singing along to Prince’s ‘The Most Beautiful Girl In The World.’

  I could see Molly laughing at the way the carol singing had suddenly turned but it was clear that she had no idea this was all for her.

  More dancers ran to join in, falling in seamlessly with the dance routine and she realised she was witnessing a flash mob, although at this stage I still don’t think she had any idea where it was going.

  The music changed again, this time it was Beyonce’s ‘Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)’ with the dancers pulling on legwarmers and fingerless gloves, as more dancers ran in to join with the flash mob and the flawless dance routine.

  As the song came to an end, Finn pulled off his jacket and passed it to Molly to hold, which was obviously an odd thing to do considering how cold it was – but as the music changed again to Bruno Mars’ ‘Marry You’, he ran in and joined in with the dance himself, leading his backing singers and dancers to a full scale, hundred person strong crescendo with them all on one knee in front of Molly at the end.

  Molly was crying so much by this point we all had to wait almost two minutes to get any kind of answer from her. You could have heard a pin drop. Even the traffic seemed to come to a stop as we all waited with bated breath for the answer which could ruin us all.

  Fortunately, when she stopped sobbing her answer was a resounding yes.

  The crowd cheered and Suzie and I and probably Finn breathed a huge sigh of relief.

  I don’t know what I’ll do if any of our proposals ever end in a no.

  Suzie was in tears as Finn and Molly hugged and cried, so I think the proposal was a big success as far as she was concerned. Though to be fair, she’s been in tears for the last three proposals too.

  *

  ‘I’m going out,’ Harry called. ‘I’m meeting Badger for some man time.’

  ‘That’s fine, give him a big hug from me.’

  ‘I will do.’ Harry walked into the front room fastening his coat. ‘What you doing?’

  ‘I’m probably just going to have a bath and read my book.’

  ‘Well I probably won’t be too long, if you hold off on the bath for an hour we could have one together.’

  ‘That sounds good.’ I reached up to kiss him as he leaned over the back of the sofa. He lingered over the kiss much longer than was necessary for a goodbye kiss and I couldn’t help smiling as he kissed me as if he wasn’t going to see me for months. Eventually he pulled away.

  ‘Just stay right there and I’ll be back soon to finish that kiss.’

  He pulled his woolly hat on and left. No sooner had the front door closed, the phone rang. I ran to answer it, thinking it would be Harry telling me how much he missed me already but it was Jules.

  ‘Hey lovely.’

  ‘Hey.’

  ‘Want to come round for dinner tonight?’

  ‘I’ve already eaten but I could come round for dessert?’

  ‘Perfect, just come when you’re ready.’

  I pulled on my coat, snow boots and hat and stepped outside into the cold.

  *

  I was surprised when Badger opened the door and pulled me into a giant bear hug. He was just in his shorts and clearly had no intention of going out anywhere soon.

  ‘Aren’t you meeting Harry?’ I asked with my face squashed hard against Badger’s chest.

  He released me from his death grip. ‘No, I thought he might be with you.’

  ‘He said he was going out to meet you for some man time.’

  Badger stared at me as if I’d grown a spare head. ‘Erm that was tonight? I thought that was tomorrow.’

  ‘No, tomorrow me and Harry were going to catch a show.’

  ‘I…’ Badger ran his hand through his hair nervously.

  ‘Don’t just stand in the hall, come into the kitchen where it’s warm,’ called Jules.

  ‘You go ahead,’ Badger said. ‘I’ll give Harry a quick call to see if he wants to come round here instead.’

  Confused, I walked into the kitchen to see my beautiful niece chasing the cat around the dining table. I swung her up into my arms, giving the poor cat a temporary reprieve.

  Bella giggled and planted a wet kiss on my cheek. She was the spitting image of my brother, Jack – every time I saw her she had grown more and more like him. I buried my face into her hair, stifling the grief I felt every time I saw her. How painful it must be for Jules to be reminded of Jack every day. Although she did have the distraction of Badger to take away that pain. I closed my eyes against that sudden uncharitable thought. I hated that I was still angry at their relationship – especi
ally when it clearly made Jules so happy.

  ‘What’s going on?’ Jules said, greeting me with a kiss as she gestured towards Badger speaking quietly to Harry in the hallway.

  ‘Harry’s gone out to meet Badger, Badger doesn’t seem to know about it.’

  ‘That’s odd. Harry spoke to Badger earlier, he certainly didn’t mention anything about meeting up then.’

  ‘Maybe Harry assumed Badger knew.’

  Jules scrolled through her phone. ‘There’s nothing in our diary. Badger is normally really good at putting things like that in the diary as he always forgets things otherwise.’

  ‘Maybe Badger forgot to put it in this time.’

  Jules pulled a face. ‘Unlikely.’

  Badger walked into the kitchen. ‘I forgot I was meeting him, I’m such an idiot.’ He passed Jules a meaningful look as if to say play along.

  Jules stared at him for a moment. ‘Ohhhh yes I remember now, you were meeting at The Rhubarb and Pickle – darts night wasn’t it, with Marv and Leon?’

  It was true that Marv held darts night at his pub once a month, but I was pretty sure that had happened at the beginning of December. What was going on?

  ‘So is Harry coming here?’

  ‘I erm…’ Badger looked back at Jules, clearly panicking. ‘He’s too far away.’

  ‘But the Rhubarb is only down the road. It’s one stop on the tube?’

  ‘He’s not there, we were supposed to meet somewhere else. I think he’s just going to head home once he’s finished.’

  ‘Finished what?’

  ‘Want some chocolate cake? I made it fresh this morning,’ Jules said, loudly.

  Bella tugged gently on my hair and wriggled to escape, distracting me momentarily from the look of pure fear on Badger’s face. I put her down and she ran straight to Badger. He scooped her up and the look of fear was replaced with love as he peppered her face with a thousand kisses. I smiled at them.

  ‘Sure, cut me a big slice, I think I need it.’ I sat down on one of the barstools, feeling like I was missing something.

  ‘So what are your plans for Christmas Day, it’ll be your first proper one with Harry?’ Jules tried to deflect the conversation away from my boyfriend’s absence.

  ‘I just want to make this one special for him – he’s not really had any good Christmases, certainly not as a child. Last year was… well it was my first without Jack so I was pretty miserable, we both were. This one will be special for both of us.’

  ‘Are you guys going to get some time off with all these Christmas Proposals?’ Badger said, around Bella’s fingers that she was shoving in his mouth.

  ‘We’re definitely having Christmas Day off. We might get a last minute rush between Boxing Day and New Year’s but most people will have already booked our services for New Year’s Eve and all the other proposals will be organised by then, so hopefully we’ll have a quieter patch – but we’ve got our holiday in January so we can relax then.’

  ‘Oh yes, the honeymoon,’ Badger waggled his eyebrows playfully.

  ‘Hardly, we need to be married for that.’

  Badger buried his face against Bella’s belly and blew a loud raspberry on her stomach. She squealed with delight. ‘I just meant, erm… your first proper holiday together… as a couple.’

  ‘Well yes,’ I frowned with confusion. ‘But we spent three months in each other’s pockets, travelling the world.’

  ‘Yes but this will be the first time you’re going on holiday specifically to have sex.’

  I laughed.

  ‘You do realise that Harry has no intention of doing anything else. If you’ve got any notion of going for walks or eating out in fancy restaurants, you can forget it. Harry said that once the food is delivered, he’s locking the door and hiding the key.’

  I laughed again. ‘We have sex all the time Badger, it’s not like I deprive the poor sod. It’s pretty much two or three times a day.’

  ‘Oh I remember those days, eh Jules, couldn’t keep our hands off each other.’

  I closed my eyes and clamped my hands over my ears. ‘Nooo that’s way too much information.’ That was way too much information, especially considering how quickly after Jack’s death that Jules and Badger had got together.

  Realising that Badger had overstepped some boundary, Jules plonked the biggest slice of cake on my plate. ‘Cream? Or ice cream? Or both? I could do both? I’ll do both.’

  I smiled at her. This was Jules’s coping mechanism. When things went wrong she made cake or she served cake. When Jack was first diagnosed with leukaemia, Jules was making nearly a cake a day. She couldn’t eat it though. While Jack, Badger and Harry were stuffing their faces with cake, Jules didn’t eat a thing. She went from a healthy size twelve to a gaunt size eight in a month. I was glad to see she was back to normal again now.

  ‘I’m just going to the loo,’ I said, standing up and moving out into the hall. I stopped to look at a new photo hanging up of Badger and Bella, both grinning inanely at the camera. There was another of the three of them, the happy little family unit. The ones of Jack were still there but some of them were faded slightly. Life was moving on without him.

  ‘Just stop talking Badger,’ I heard Jules hiss. ‘Jeez how many times are you going to put your foot in it tonight?’

  ‘I’m rubbish at secrets, you know that.’

  ‘I know, just stop talking about Harry and honeymoons and sex.’

  ‘I will, I promise – but to be fair, I had no idea Harry was going to use me as an excuse tonight. He should just tell her, it would make it easier on all of us, stop all this sneaking around.’

  ‘Oh god, I don’t want to be there when he does tell her. She’s going to kill him. It’ll be grounds for divorce even before they walk down the aisle.’

  ‘As much as I love Harry, I have to agree. I think she’ll be gutted.’

  ‘I’m tempted to tell her myself.’

  ‘We can’t do that.’

  ‘I know. Oh god, I know. Here, have some more cake.’

  ‘I’m going to be the size of a house by the time this comes to a head, aren’t I?’

  ‘Yes, you are and I’m not even going to apologise for it. You want someone to blame, blame Harry.’

  ‘Pass me the cake, me and him are going to have serious words.’

  I stood frozen in the hall. Badger wasn’t the only one who was going to have serious words with Harry.

  *

  I walked back into our house later determined to get to the bottom of the secrets, only to find Harry was sprawled out on the sofa fast asleep. With his eyelashes casting dark shadows on his cheeks and his mouth open slightly, he looked the picture of angelic innocence. I turned the TV off and he stirred slightly, smiling in his sleep.

  I ran my hand across his cheek and his eyes fluttered open.

  ‘Hey beautiful,’ he said, sleepily. ‘I was just dreaming about you.’

  I smiled and held out my hand. ‘Come to bed.’

  His smile grew as he sat up – swinging his legs off the sofa, he pulled me between his legs and buried his face in my stomach, running gentle kisses through the fabric of my jumper.

  He stood up and swung me into his arms, kissing me hard. Whatever was going on with him could wait until tomorrow.

  ‘Have I told you today how much I love you?’ I said, fastening my arms round his neck.

  ‘Ha! That’s my line.’ He carried me upstairs. ‘Let me show you instead.’

  Chapter Two

  Proposer’s Blog

  Christmas Proposal 75: December 22nd. Ethan and Victoria’s Proposal. Location: The River Thames

  Ethan and Victoria have been together for nine months and Ethan knew she was the one he was going to spend the rest of his life with from the very first moment they met. She spilt coffee over him on her first day waitressing at some posh restaurant. She maintains it was an accident, Ethan thinks it was deliberate because he was being a dick and he deserved it. She was sacked for it and Et
han immediately hired her to work for him instead. Victoria fought the attraction for a week before she gave in and slept with him. Ethan says their love was unstoppable, it careened out of control down steep tracks. He said that he had never fallen so hard, so quickly with any woman he had ever met. Within a month they had moved in together and there was never any going back after that.

  Ethan and Victoria went on a lunchtime boat ride, crossing first under Tower Bridge and heading up river towards Westminster Bridge. They were accompanied by a violinist and ahead of them was another boat (with us on), sprinkling rose petals into the water.

  There are several bridges between Tower Bridge and Westminster and on each bridge was a letter, slowly making up the words ‘Marry Me’.

  I’d love to say Victoria was surprised but whether Ethan had somehow let something slip or she just knew that this was where their relationship had been heading all along, maybe she knew that she had been waiting for that moment with that man all her life, but she seemed to take it all very calmly. By the third letter, she was already slow dancing in his arms and by the fourth letter, the ring was already on her finger. She didn’t even see the fifth, sixth and seventh letters, or the rose petals that were thrown over the sides of the final bridge that rained down like confetti on top of them, they were too busy kissing.

  They were supposed to stop at the side after Westminster Bridge and we had arranged for a meal to be brought aboard but they went straight home instead. Strange that.

  Suzie was in tears again. Another resounding success.

  *

  I was busy replying to emails when Harry walked in with two plates of sausage sandwiches. He had ketchup on his lips and he bent down to give me a big ketchupy kiss. I didn’t have time to wiggle out of his way before he planted a tomato flavoured kiss on my lips.